Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
