I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
