I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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