Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
