you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
