Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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