you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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