There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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