You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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