I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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