Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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