She announced her abortion via fbk
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You ate ashes out of my bong
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
