I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
