She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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