that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
