I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
