if i can run in heels then i can drive
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
