Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
