Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
