Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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