dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
