im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
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