theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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