is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
There r osticjed everywhere
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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