Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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