He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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