whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize