He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
