Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I want is dick and wine.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
