Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize