Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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