Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
