Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she told me i tasted like america
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Text me some of your sweat
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
