I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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