I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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