but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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