i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
