Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
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We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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