All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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