I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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