I'm really into asian looking animals
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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