Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
wow bdsm is so cute
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
