Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
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