it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
