hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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