she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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