I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
