Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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