Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
