But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I smell like Dick and happiness
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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