i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I love you. Go after that dick
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
