The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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