Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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