I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Randomize
