Buhtt sex?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
