She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
