Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
