so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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