i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you made out with another girl for some wings
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
