We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's rum buckets o'clock
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
