I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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