He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
